Thu Sep 16 1999

Ripe Mandarins

I had a mandarin tree,
I chopped it down cos it had no fucking mandarins.

Last week
I had a mandarin tree,
And I got pissed off when I took the last mandarin.

A month ago
I had a mandarin tree,
And the fucking cockies attacked it so I sprayed it.

In autumn
I had a mandarin tree,
But it really sucked cos, like, the fruit was green and shit.

In summer
I had a mandarin tree,
But it was weedy so I mowed all over the roots.

Last year
I had a mandarin tree,
But like, you know, I thought they were oranges maybe?

The year before
I had a mandarin tree,
But it was just, like, sticks and leaves, so I thought 'Fuck it'.

Before that
I had a mandarin tree,
But it was really just some bush that grew from birdshit.